A First Goodbye

6/30/22

This first goodbye is harder than I expected
It went smooth at first, I felt it was right
I thought you would be alright
Then Months passed and I was fine
Stuck to doing what was mine
Then the semester ended and all these thoughts began to surge
Seems that studying books was my escape like you smoking on your vape
Like a relapse I fell back down when I heard your chirps
You said I didn’t love you for real and that hurt me to the core
Cause I chose to let you go cause I couldn’t stand staying around hurting someone I adore
You got under my skin so I replied you knew that wasn’t true.
After that I began to post a chirp or two
I was matching your energy writing my pain on the web like you
You called me a coward for the ranting
Got defensive about my truth, me saying the things you were scared to admit were true
Even after it all, after I came to see you as toxic and venomous.
After I learned I could never get through to you, that you would always think I wanted to hurt you
I sit in pain at this goodbye wishing you would understand and see the truth, and not see what you want
I hate posting now cause I feel you just use my irony as evidence of treachery
I try not to care to dismiss you but deep down I am beyond stoic; Shit
I care for you always will so it hurts cause I give a a fuck
But if me existing will always hurt you
I free myself from you, cause I see you, I just wish you could really see me too
Goodbye one last time, I wish you good even if you think otherwise