Royal Brown

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Sticky Note Poem (2019?)

In fading day On shining night An opera plays True loves delight Through aging time Day to day We loose our prime With swift dismay Still in face Love is a masquerade Yet unstable in pace Like mercury retrograde He aches in envy She connects to another Like repeating history

The Bane Of Me

8/2/21 We are just apart of an depreciating system, the original sin formed into an algorithm. We spend so much time in our fun and think that we are still ourselves. We laugh at the racial bias and unempathy of words and forget we are all the same.

Aborted

This one is a bit darker than most of my writings. At the time I was reflecting upon the abortion my father mentioned I could have been a few years prior and being envious of those I perceived to have better family lifes than me. 6/27/21 Sometimes I

All The Things I Savor About Myself

9/7/21 All the things i savor about myself Are also all the things I detest Of course that's paradoxical But I myself am a paradox In a world of absolute truths I exist beneath those ideals and standards I am but a man of many flaws

I Care But It's Not My Fault

7/13/22 You are so hurt cause you made me your world instead of you. That’s why it hurts cause I always had your best interests I communicated I tried to help but you didn’t allow me to do that. So it ended and now you feel

The Lover

5/24/22 I sat alone unfazed for a while In a month I lost my composure My heart finally was penetrated I became a coward as my heart chirped I ranted cause I felt hurt Then you reacted cause you still lurked Became a drug like no other our

When You Say You Love ME

8/14/22 She says she loves me and it hurts my heart She Couldn’t even stay for the full ride. So as a lover that hurt’s my pride. Cause she says I am the reason we are apart. I know her like the back of my hand

9 to 5

8/14/22 I work a 9 to 5 making customer’s days wishing I could make yours. I’ve been serving for months and I still can’t stop thinking about you my old duty. I know what we had has long been discontinued, but just as a customer

You Look To The Stars?

11/19/22 You look to the stars to decipher who I am. Was our connection that shallow? A love revealed to be just another sham. A past not worthy of a nostalgic wallow.

Thankful To Be Alive

8/15/22 A few customers have told me they are thankful to be alive most of which are old. Sometimes I ponder if I am thankful to be alive or if I am just robot pursuing goals. I hope I don’t end up saying stuff like that. As

If I Were Grown

6/30/22 We fell in love in our youth you could call it adolescent It was our first real dance and we failed like amateurs Now it’s all over as we wasted all our chances We both had different needs and they could never be met with our

The Florist

5/16/22 A florist pulls petals from a red rose She whispers “He loves me. He loves me not.” Each pull an artifact of her insecurities She stands, the petals are all gone She cries” He loves me not.” That last petal made her choice She confronts her lover

Pride

8/16/22 I have never had pride in anything other than the bond we once shared. So knowing you still love me only gives me shame. I let you go yet you are still here, just as I am still with you. So no pride remains here now only

A Facade

8/18/22 Like a spider I have weaved up a story, one with thousands of plots holes, but you have yet to notice. I poke at you with meaningless words hiding the truth behind it all. A charlatan of the heart, I keep you exposed. You are trapped you

A First Goodbye

6/30/22 This first goodbye is harder than I expected It went smooth at first, I felt it was right I thought you would be alright Then Months passed and I was fine Stuck to doing what was mine Then the semester ended and all these thoughts began to

End It All

8/24/22 If the world gives you nothing put pain If all your efforts are in vain If you are at the lowest of lows If you’ve taken too many blows When you decide to end it all I would hold you tight, cause the world without you

Dreams

8/30/22 Inconsequential is how I define these dreams of mine. They are always just a collage of instances and dialogue. Just my brain’s neurons connecting and flowing as I slumber. When I dream of you though it’s different. They become potent like the nostalgia of our

Life

11/4/22 I heard the sounds of growling dogs out my window. The Kittens!!! The kittens!!! I ran outside to see their nursery knocked down and two pit bulls in the bushes. I checked the destruction looking for life. The babes were scared hissing at me the loudest they

Therapeutic Quarrel

9/10/23 You tell me to forget the past yet to also understand how the past has scarred me and molded me into the man I am. I acknowledge my scars but they don’t go away. they still are here and no matter how present I am they

Gender?

9/20/23 I had a conversation with an acquaintance and I heard how boxed into the role of a man I am. Is it nature that makes us have our differences or is it the environment that promotes this dichotomy of the sexes. From the movies we watched in

We Are Sisyphus

9/23/23 I sight the tale of sisyphus a man who is punished to carry a rock up a mountain for it to roll back down to repeat again. This is what life is in essence filled with mountains or things we must overcome without end. You may complete

If Given A Day

I had an internet crush at the time this is what i wrote lol. 9/27/22 I know this feeling is partly an infatuation an artifact of my longing to connect with another. When I think of you though I feel hopeful about the world that I am not

Motion

10/24/23 The same people that care about having motion are the same people standing still. A standing tree has more motion than they could ever have. They worry about the presentation and iconography of motion instead of the philosophy of motion. The people who have real motion don’

What Made Me Stay

11/ 30/23 What made me stay when I knew I needed to leave; Fear. I never had this bond before and I wanted so much to keep it and maintain it. I thought in conquering love and not running away I would prove my worth. I feared being a

Relationship Fueled By Fear

2/24/24 Why is it my love that being someone you could lose makes you want me. How can you call your feeling love if it is fueled by fear. Who would I be to accept this love and be the source of your distress. I never want you